The picture I have of myself is of a young, vibrant, hip (is that still a word?), cool, and young mom. I see some other moms, assumingly around my age, at school events and they look so much older. I continually ask my kids if I’m that old and, to their credit and probably due to self-preservation, they assure me that I look and act much younger than other moms. Then we hold hands and skip down the hallway while belting out the latest popular rock/emo/whatever song. Ok, just kidding about that last part. I can’t skip anymore.
Lately though, I find myself starting to feel old. My body is no longer that of a 19 year-old, able to bend and flex and bounce back from injury like it used to. I’ve been dealing with chronic back pain for the last seven years or so, but have been able to successfully manage it so it doesn’t slow me down too much. I would even run three miles each morning, BEFORE COFFEE! Then, two years ago, I tore the meniscus in my left knee by simply standing in my yard. No joke. After physical therapy and surgery, it just didn’t seem to get better. Found out I had torn it again. Another surgery followed by more physical therapy. Now, like deja vu, it has started feeling worse and I’m looking at likely more surgery. My favorite part is when both the physical therapist and the surgeon used the phrase “at your age” to explain why I may not be healing as expected. At my age?!? But, I’m still young!
Then I went prom dress shopping with the oldest. When did she get old enough for prom? Why do dresses have so little fabric now? How do you wear a bra or even panties with some of these fashions? Why are floral patterns that remind me of my great-grandmother’s curtains so prevalent? And can we all agree that the hi-low trend has gotten rediculous and needs to go away? Yep, I’m definitely old.
Let’s not even talk about my morning and evening skin care regimen. Products with words like “anti-wrinkle,” “tone correcting,” “retinol,” “plumping,” and “for aging skin” have snuck their way into my medicine cabinet. It’s expensive to not look your age! I’d love to think I could be that person who could age gracefully, but if I’m honest with myself I have to admit I’ll probably be dying my hair well into my 80s in order to keep the white at bay. Seriously, I have a lot of white hair. Way more than someone in her (late) thirties should have.
At least I still have my sense of humor. I’m sure it will serve me well in the old folks home. Until then, turn down that music and stay off my lawn! Damn whippersnappers.